Friday, January 22, 2010

Dying and Saying Good-Bye...

I'm in the hospital with my aunt. She's been here since January 13th fighting for her life. We received word Wednesday, the 20th, that she's not going to make it. All the fighting she's done in the past years against the ravaging pain of scleroderma and she's losing the war. She never stood a chance. But I take comfort in knowing that Heavenly Father will be ending her pain soon and taking her to a place where there is no pain and suffering, where there is only peace and comfort - where she can bask in His love.

She's often wondered what's she's done in life to warrant such a horrible disease, why He doesn't love her enough to put her through this. When my grandma told me this, I was haunted day and night by this. I couldn't let her die thinking He let her have this because she was bad or because He didn't love her. That would mean that every child that has died was because He didn't love them.  How untrue that is!!! He loves us all!!  I believe this with every fiber of my being! I know this because the Holy Spirit has born witness to me that He loves us! And He loves my aunt, regardless of any of her sins! Just as He loves me regardless of my sins! I was blessed to be able to share with her that she is loved by God just a day or two ago; that He loves ALL HIS CHILDREN.  And she nodded her head, smiled at me, and whispered "I know".  What a relief to this aching heart.

It's been so hard watching my beloved aunt be in so much pain. She's been so good to me all my life. She's my favorite! I know that though she'll be gone, she'll still be with me always. It will just be hard not having her physically here with me.  I have looked forward to my evening visits with her while she and my Grama live next to me during the winter months. Though it is hard to see her go through this, I feel that I am blessed that Heavenly Father brought her to me so that I can be with her during this time. And so that I can be with my Grama as well. We all share a special relationship. What a blessing it's been... What a hardship of the heart it's been...

Good-bye, Aunt Kath...  I love you.  God be with you, until we meet again...

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