Sunday, January 31, 2010

Grieving...

Grieving is so draining. I feel so emotionally drained. And it hasn't helped my depression any... I just feel like sleeping this away... But unfortunately I cannot. I try so hard to keep my grief under control so that I am not a party pooper. But I never know when my emotions are going to come flooding to the surface. Just when I think I am going to get through the pain, something - anything - nothing - just sets me off and all of a sudden I find myself either a bawling mess of tears or as good as a mad wet hen...  I just cannot win this thing with grief. I suppose I cannot expect it to be easier just yet, my aunt has only been gone 5 days. But I really thought that it would be easier since I knew it was coming with all her pain and suffering. Why isn't it? I thought it would... I was hoping it would... I was praying it would...

Is grieving easier to cope with if you know death is coming or if it comes at you without any warning at all?

1 comment:

MA said...

Tonya, I'm so sorry for all the pain and grieving you're experiencing. I wish I could just give you a BIG HUG. You are a strong woman and I know you'll get through this! God bless. "Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not." D&C 6:36